namelessworshippers:

© Unholy Trinity / Iramenits. 

luckyluna22:

Hahaha I went into a random dream town and this person has a chair, a box of tissues, and a picture of Carlton in their basement.

(via drugsauce)

swanproblems:

nash-grier:

Everyone has a right to their opinion.

having an opinion ≠ being racist, sexist, and homophobic and getting away with it because its “just an opinion”

(via a-razorblades-kiss)

rnackenzie:

its hard being hilarious when everyone ignores you

(via drugsauce)

the-misadventures-of-lele:

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

this really is a mental institute.

(Source: actualadvicemallard)

shorten:

"how are you feeling?"

image

(via drugsauce)

thomas sanders is the cutest lil poop
i wanna squish his cheeks and talk about broadway with him

drake & josh

  • season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
  • season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans

brianpickledliverhane-dog:

SIGNAL BOOSTING THE HELL OUT OF THIS

This picture is of me, Nik, and AJ.

Recently, Nik has gotten into a bad spot and needs some help. He’s trans, handicapped, and may soon be homeless. He is unable to stay at home (see link below) and can’t yet afford a place of his own. He’s been staying with friends but because of their own situations they can only let him stay for so long. Once he can’t stay with friends anymore, he has no choice but to go to a shelter. Because this is a woman’s shelter, he’ll have to hide that fact that he’s trans. The fact that he’s wheelchair bound makes things even harder. 

Nik is seriously one of the sweetest people I know and he’s so lovely and easy to get along with. If I had the money and the room, I’d buy him a ticket to my house and let him live here as long as possible. But unfortunately, I can’t do that. This is where you come in. Nik has a Go Fund Me page  where he’s trying to raise money to get himself back on his feet again. Any amount helps, and if you can’t donate a signal boost is just as good. Please help spread the word.

http://www.gofundme.com/94nwhg

http://www.gofundme.com/94nwhg

http://www.gofundme.com/94nwhg

(via karmas-fakingit)

namelessworshippers:

© Sundqvistijohan.